Monday, May 7, 2007

inspired by a kapuso

"How can you move on if you still feel hatred in your heart?"
I heard those words from an actress while watching Showbiz Central yesterday. If I'm not mistaken, it was Ara Mina who said that. It's about her relationship/reconciliation with her ex Jomari Yllana. Hehe. You betcha, I'm a Kapuso since birth. When I was young and cable tv wasn't "in", we can only watch GMA shows so I kind of get used to it upto now. But I don't watch all GMA shows, in fairness to me, I also change channels.

Going back to my first sentence, when I heard (that's because I didn't watch, I was busy cooking and I just turned the volume of the tv loudly) Ara's words, I checked on myself. I asked myself, "How about you Mars? Are you still hurt and bitter?" I then find myself assessing everything, trying to recall the past aches. Surprisingly, I didn't feel anything anymore. I'm not hurt. I can't even remember what happened. I tell my friends that I have selective amnesia because the events were so heartbreaking that my mind decided to erase them permanently.

I also attended the regular Sunday mass for the first time in months yesterday. Though I always pray at night, going back to church is a big thing for me. God is putting things back in the right place and at the right time this time and I'm not going to waste that up. I don't want distractions for now; I'm focused on making things happen since I have forgiven everyone in my heart.

I love my life. I'm happy. And I thank God for loving me so much.

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