Thursday, June 7, 2007

my onion inspired tears

"Im sorry but you cannot take the synthesis this semester because you still have EDUC313 left in your prospectus and it is a prerequisite subject for your synthesis. "

I almost cried when our dean told me this. It means that I will not graduate on March 2008. I have to wait for a year to get my synthesis and it's killing me to wait that long just to graduate. However, as much as I wanted to bawl, not a tear came out of my eyes. I was shouting to express my fury, I was even "killing" the keyboard when I was chatting with the twins' dad (yes we're okay but not romantically okay). He tried to console me by telling me that these things happen and I should not feel sad but his words aren't enough (will never be enough) to make me feel good. I went back to my favorite teacher (syempre dapat may kakampi) and asked if she can do something but to no avail. She only told me that I shouldn't hurry because she will miss me -and that made me laugh. If I don't have responsibilities and if I'm not a single mom, I think I wouldn't hurry. But the situation is different and besides, I am not getting any younger.

So anyway, I felt defeated so I tried to calm myself down by going back to the online world. Just when I thought I have recovered, I then read from my friendster bulletin about the 9th day of a friend named Angel. I was flabbergasted because I thought she was recuperating from leukemia. I was once again saddened but still, tears won't come out of my eyes as much as I wanted to cry.

I was downhearted when I went to the grocery and afterwards went home. The yaya told me that Aloy was vomiting the whole day and he was complaining that his tummy hurts so I masaged his tummy with manzanilla and he felt good afterwards. He then complained that he's hungry so I gave him cookies whil I cooked dinner. I was still in low spirits when I was cooking, I still wanted to cry but I can't. So to make myself cry (I felt desperate), I got two large onions and started chopping them. Voila! Tears voluntarily came out of my eyes. I felt relieved.

2 comments:

ami said...

naks kakafrustrate naman... parang alam ko yung ganyang feeling... good luck lang yung masasabi ko.

May said...

Naku... buti naman nakaiyak ka rin sa huli...

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